Welcome back!
We will be going back and forth in time. *Winky face*
Luka POV
Chapter 20: Lighthouse
Like heavy rainy clouds covering the skies outside, I walked into Niko's office with my own grey clouds.
The moment I opened the door, a flashback hit me.
*
I ran out the elevator into the hallway, catching my breath at last.
I need to follow Niko's advice and start exercising.
But let's not admit that to him.
I was running late, I slept through my alarm.
When I asked my mom why she didn't wake me up she said " You came so late last night, I just didn't bare to wake you up. I couldn't disturb your peace."
The moment I walked into Niko's office, a voice called "Luka *Bey running late, aren't we?!"
It was Niko standing in the doorway, pissed at me.
The idiot.
"Follow me into my office, please." He said firmly walking into his office.
I followed him inside, as he closed the door behind me.
"How dare you, sir?!" He said.
I turned around to him, wanting to give him an insight of what I thought then.
But he stood there grinning back at me.
The idiot!
"*Ne' he raised an eyebrow at me 'I need to sound frightening in front of my employees."
"Employees?! You only have Nur and I."
"*Olsun! I need to terrify her."
I shook my head at him as he started laughing.
"I am going to go work now, Nikola Bey big boss." I said mockingly walking towards the door.
"*Bedaka, bedaka. *Nereye?! *Gel." He said pulling the little bag in my hand.
He then walked to the little couch he had in the office. Niko flopped himself into the couch then looked up at me "You seriously thought I will let you walk out of here with my food. What Hayat Teyzem had sent for me. Huh *cok komik."
He started opening the containers *Annem sent and started to dig into them.
"Don't stand in there. Gel join me."
The idiot!
*
I looked around the office, at the places and traces of Niko around me. At everything he had left behind.
I miss the idiot already.
"I miss you *Abim." I whispered under my breath.
I walked up to his desk. After that I went to sit on his chair.
I closed my eyes.
The last 12 hours have been painful.
*
I laid holding Niko as I leaned my head on his arm.
I wish if I could more for you, Abim.
My brother was in pain and I couldn't do a thing for him.
And that was tormenting me.
All I really wanted to do was get up and punch a wall for all the helplessness I was feeling.
Fajir Namaz came, calling.
Declaring besides prayer's time that we are only getting closer to what I dreading.
"Abim, Luka." a whisper came through the dark.
I looked up at my caller.
"*Uyan. Let's go pray.' He whispered to me. 'Let's go, *hadi."
I slowly got off the bed.
I stood there watching how Niko carefully and gently broke away from my mother's arms.
"Hadi, let's go." He said when he got to his feet.
My eyes followed his path out of the room.
He was trying to make it up to me.
Even in this state he was thinking about me, trying to make it easier on me.
We walked to the Masjid.
"Hadi, we will miss the prayers. Hadi my fat friend." Ha announced running off.
He was trying to make me smile.
"I WILL KILL." I shouted back as I ran behind him.
Each passing second was declaring how close we are getting closer.
We prayed then drove to his apartment, to collect some luggage.
We played a few songs.
He tried his hardest to avoid sadder songs. But today everything sounded sad, exactly like how I felt.
I stood silently in his room as I watched him pack. He sat on the floor with the suitcase in front of him and all his clothes covering the floor.
"Luka, shall I take this shirt?!" He said holding a blue shirt up.
"It wont look good on you. You know why?! Because it is mine."
"Hmmm, that's explains exactly why I find it ugly." He declared, shrugging and throwing it aside.
"Yeah you wish you had my great fashion sense." I said as I gave him a light punch over the shoulder.
"Tamam David Beckham. Tamam.' He said smiling to me 'Can you get me my toothbrush, please?!" He asked me.
When I walked into his bathroom, I saw him sneak my shirt into his bag, deep under his pants.
I looked at my reflection, sighing before snatching the toothbrush off the stand.
It was only getting closer.
Haven- The Sea
At last, Niko and I walked out of the apartment.
We placed the luggage in the car the Niko said "Luka I want to take one last walk, tamam. You can walk behind...."
"*Tamam. Tamam." I replied smiling at him.
He wanted one last walk, his farewell to Istanbul.
Niko walked ahead of me, meters separating us as I walked behind him. With every step he took, he grew further away from me.
The sun was rising over the horizon, over my brother.
He stopped in his tracks, turning around looking at the sea.
He watched the sunrise, then he softly closed his eyes, raising his head towards the skies.
He slowly took a deep breath in.
I kept watching him, he wiggled fingers in the wind.
He was taking in the fresh breeze, the sea, and all of Istanbul.
He let it all flow through him.
He kept taking several deep breaths in.
Then at last, Niko opened his eyes, to the sun fully rising. I looked at him as he smiled to the sun, then at me.
I stood a few steps.
"Gel." He mouthed to me.
And I walked up to him.
Then I saw it, the sun was reflecting on my brother's eyes. I kept staring at sunrays from his brown eyes.
He placed a hand over my shoulder pulling me in towards him.
We stood there in silence admiring the sunrise.
It was getting closer.
I never dreaded a sunrise like I did today.
"Aren't we so romantic right now?!" Niko finally said through the peace.
"HAHAHAHA." I cracked up laughing as I turned around away from him.
"We will go to that bakery, before heading back home. I am craving some pastries." He announced.
"Tamam." I knew he wanted something other than pastries.
*
It was around 6:30 now. I stood leaning against the door as Niko placed his order in the bakery.
"*Selam Baba. *Gunaydin." Said the lady followed by a few kids.
"Gunaydin. What else do you want, sir?!"
Finally, she was here.
Niko left the old man standing.
"I will take your order Niko."
He nodded me off as he walked out of the shop.
He approached the little girl, squatting down to her.
"*Teskeler." I said when I paid the old man, then walked out after Niko.
"*Beni affet, *olurmu?!" Niko asked the little girl for forgiveness.
She nodded back at him smiling.
"*Bu arada.' Niko looked at me, adding 'This is my friend..."
"Luka, biliyorum." Deniz said grinning at me.
I looked away, avoiding Niko's eyes.
"I know you talked to her." Niko announced shaking his head at me, smiling.
I shrugged at Niko, acting innocent.
Yes, I talked to her yesterday after the incident. I wanted to make sure she was alright. I also wanted to know how she was associated with Niko.
Niko took a deep breath then said in a low voice "Deniz' he looked down 'I have some sad news."
He looked back up at her before adding "I will be leaving the country."
"*Neye?" she asked, sad.
"I am going on an adventure."
"Tamam. Then that's not sad news you will be on a fun adventure"
She is adorable.
"Evet, you are right."
"Nereye?!" She asked excited.
"To a secret land, I cannot tell anyone. But I will tell only you." He replied winking at her.
She looked at me, making sure I wasn't listening to them. I looked away.
Then she leaned in as he whispered to her.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don't tell anyone okay?!" Niko said when she leaned away.
"Tamam. *Bende. Don't worry." She said back whispering.
"I promise I will keep in touch. I will be contacting you through my friend Luka."
Deniz pouted, asking "You will be gone for so long then?!"
"*Hayir. A few months only."
That was a lie actually, no one actually knew for how long he will be required to stay there.
"*Gitme. Don't go." She said begging.
I looked at her, she spoke the words that I could never pronounce myself, but my heart was shouting.
Even though, Deniz only met him once, she loved him. She saw him as the fatherly figure, the one thing she didn't have in her life, since hers died at a very young age.
When I talked to her, she was more concerned about him, more than anything else. She wasn't afraid of him, she knew somehow he will never hurt her.
And she wasn't wrong to think of him highly like that.
"Deniz don't be sad, please. I will be on an adventure. I will come back, I promise I will. I promise I wont let you go Deniz."
"Tamam." She said giving in.
Niko looked left and right then whispered "I will be also sending you some gifts through this guy.' He said looking at me 'Tamam."
"Tamam" She said happily.
"Deniz, can I ask you for one last thing?!" Niko said smiling sadly at her.
"*Tabiki."
"Can you take your glasses for one second."
And she did.
Niko leaned back, biting down on his lip. He was admiring her ocean-blue eyes.
"Her eyes remind you of those that once belonged to her, doesn't it?!" I asked softly.
Niko nodded, looking up at me with tearful eyes.
"Tamam." Niko said in a chocked up voice.
He started coughing, clearing his throat "Tamam. Deniz put your cool glasses back on."
When she did, he smiled widely at her. That dimpled smile of his.
"It is time to say goodbye, my little lady." Niko said as he held his hand up.
But instead of shaking his hand, she went on to hug him.
She stood in between his arms, wrapping her little arms around his neck.
Her mother walked out, standing in the shop's doorway, smiling at them.
I smiled at her, nodding.
She nodded back.
Yes, I explained to her the situation to her yesterday, after I walked back to the bakery with Deniz.
We stood there admiring the scene before us, smiling.
And who wouldn't?!
They were the epitome of broken souls, finding their comfort in one another.
*
"Hayat Teyzam, we are back." Niko announced from the hallway as he took off his shoes.
"*Hosgeldin." Annem said from the kitchen.
"We brought delicious baked goods. I just craved some. DONT WORRY I WILL BE EATING EVERYTHING."
And he kept his promise, he pilled his plate again as he went
"Do you remember the time, we brought home an injured cat to treat?!"
"Hahahhah. Oh yes we hid him in the garden, before stealing the first aid kit in the bathroom."
"Oh yes we almost got away with it....."
"But I caught you the two of you, when I saw Luka walking out with the kit."
The three of us started to laugh.
Niko was trying his hardest to make us laugh. He didn't want the sadness of his departure to settle in on us.
We finished breakfast and I helped my mom collect the table.
While Niko went to shower to prepare for his flight.
Niko walked into the living room with a towel placed carelessly over his wet hair.
I started laughing at how funny he looked.
He balled the towel and throw it on my face.
"Hayat Teyzem I look good in everything don't I?!" He asked Annem, acting innocent.
"You do." She said shaking her head and smiling at our silliness.
"Tamam, tamam *gelin hanim." I said back.
"You are just jealous." Niko said as he wrapped his arms around my mother.
"Obviously." I said rolling my eyes at him.
Niko stuck his tongue at me.
"Annem *bak bak!" I exclaimed, pointing at Niko.
"Tamam. Tamam the two of you.' My mom said. ' go sit next to your brother, hadi Niko."
Niko obediently sat down on the sofa next to me.
"I have one last supriz for the two of you."
"Ne?!" We asked in union.
"Bedaka." My mother walked into the kitchen.
"What is it?!" Niko asked me.
"No idea." I replied as I poured him a cup of tea.
"Here." She said as she placed a cake on the table in front of us.
Niko looked at the chocolate then at my mom and I. He started laughing, hard.
He looked at the chocolate cake again, then rolled back his head laughing like a little kid.
My mom and I joined him, laughing.
He suddenly stopped, looking down at the chocolate cake once again.
The traces of his laugh still on his face.
He looked at my mom, lightly nodding, his eyes tearing up.
"No one will ever love me, like their own son, the way you did. *Ben seni cok seviyorum, Teyzam." Niko declared.
A tear escaped his eyes.
He was no longer strong.
"Oglum." My mom said softly as she walked around the table to hug him.
He dug his head in her, as he cried "I am sorry I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't fit as a son for you....."
"Shhhh.' My mom said, lifting his head to meet her eyes 'you are my son. And you are more than fit to be my son. You are my son. The gift Allah blessed me with."
She wiped his tears as she added "You are the best son anyone could ask for. Your mother loved you, so do I. You are my own son, Luka's brother."
She placed a kiss on his head then tightly hugged him again.
She outstretched a hand to me, as I watched them holding myself back.
I shook my head at her "Let him." I mouthed to her. It was his farewell to her.
Then I got up to my feet and walked away from them.
I half-lied I just couldn't I knew. That if I let her hold me now, I will break down crying.
I opened the front door then looked at the sky above me, sighing. Knowingly, that sighing wont dissolve the heaviness that settled into my heart, declaring it as it home.
I pressed my back against our front door, closing my eyes shut.
I need to be strong for my brother.
Hold it in Luka for your Abim.
I opened my eyes then looked to my left, into our living room window.
I watched as my mother held his weak trembling body while broke into her arms.
He was in so much pain. The type that would suffocate you, the type that would lead to losing your sanity, the type that would coast others to.....
I looked back up at the skies, fighting back my tears.
"I wish if I could take all of your pain away. All of it." I said through greeted teeth.
No one is able to understand his pain, and no one will ever will, but I.
*
Leave A Light On- Tom Walker
I finally pulled up at the airport.
It was time.
We left back my mother at home, waving goodbye behind us.
But I knew that she broke down crying the moment we were out of her sight.
I avoided looking at Niko the entire way here. Even now as the silence settled in among us.
"Luka." He summoned me but I acted busy, unfastening my seatbelt.
"Luka." he called again holding the hand that was on the belt.
I looked at him.
He was smiling weakly at me, his eyes begging me to look closely at them one last time.
I just couldn't. I knew I will regret it later on, but I couldn't afford being weak now. I need to be strong for him.
It was time.
"Hadi let's go." I announced.
"Bak I just want to say one thing. I know you talked to Nur today and I bet you knew about the incident with Janu..."
"Ama…" I interrupted him.
"Luka please don't. Promise you wont bother her, even if she came back into my office."
I tried to object but he said "Please Abi let me go with a settled heart in regards to that. You wont treat her badly, we both know she is not the reason I am in this place."
Even at his lowest points, he still cares about other.
Ah Abi ah.
"Tamam I promise."
Another silence, he leaned back into his seat, smiling to me "Luka...…"
It was time.
"Hadi, hadi we will be late." I declared opening my door.
It was time.
"Tamam." he gave in.
We left the car in silence.
I checked in his luggage for him, he just stood there next to me, quietly watching me.
It was time.
We silently walked together till the passports stamping area.
It was time.
Niko turned around to me "Bak take care of ……….."
"Hayat Teyzam, Nur, and Deniz." I finished for him.
"Or I will have to come back and kill you." He said jokingly.
"Tamam they are safe with me, even that Janu. Tamam *bende."
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, nervously.
"Luka, it is you that' he looked sadly at me 'that I don't know how to say goodbye to you."
"Then let's not.' I said smiling to him. 'I will see you soon abim."
He nodded back, smiling weakly.
I put a hand out so we can do our little secret handshake.
Then we hugged it out.
I was on the verge of crying, but I held it in, I swallowed back.
We broke our hug and I saw that he was about to cry himself.
Hadi Luka distract him.
"Hadi idiot go or I will be stuck with for another 24 hours." I said jokingly, lightly pushing him back.
"You wish!" He said laughing.
"See you soon Nikola."
"See you my fat friend." he said back as he walked away.
It was time.
He turned his back to me, walking away.
I stood there watching him.
When he stopped in his tracks.
It was time.
I started walking away.
After leaving as much distance as possible.
I stopped, I turned around.
I saw the last of his curls, before disappearing away.
"Stay safe my friend. Come back home. I will always leave a light on for you. I will be your lighthouse in your storms."
And it was time.
He was gone.
-----------------------------------------------
TURKISH WORDS*
*Bey Mr
*Ne what
*Olsun get
*Bedaka one minute
*Nereye where
*Gel come
*cok komik very funny
*Annem mom
*Abim dear brother
*Uyan wake up
*hadi come on
*Tamam okay
*Selam hey
*Gunaydin good morning
*Beni affet forgive me
*olurmu is it ok
*Bu arada by the way
*Neye what
*Bende me
*Hayir no
*Gitme dont go
*Tabiki for sure
*Hosgeldin welcome
*gelin bride
*bak look
*Ben you
*seni cok seviyorum i love you
The end!
Remember the sun will rise again.
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